Some nights...

Some Nights...

Some nights I still wonder what I should be, who I should be. I went to college and finished, but still have no idea where my life will take me. I just don't understand sometimes. Life will always be unpredictable, but this unpredictable? WHOA. Slap in the face. Who should I be? All I know is I need to help people. If I am where I am supposed to be, then why doesn't it feel completely right. I was accepted into school for social work and for whatever reason changed it to special education. Now I am here, not quite sure what the next move is. Our society undermines teachers to such an extreme extent. I learn new things every day from these children, they are changing me and teaching me to love more freely. I genuinely care. It's a confusing career, you give everything you have every day, to be under appreciated by the uppers and by children much of the time... but the satisfaction of the growth your students have is incredible. More than the academics, it's the changes you see in them, when they realize you care about them and love them. They start to create a better attitude and self perception just because of you. How can you withstand uppers being so demanding, and not so understanding for such a long time. It's too hard to decide... so not tonight.